In May of 1984, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles debuted onto comic book pages and became a merchandising phenomenon, first on television screens in cartoon form, and then on the big screen as actors in life-size suits. From there, several other films have been produced, ranging and flowing upwards and downwards in quality. So, the question on everyone's mind is, how does the new film, simply titled, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, fare in comparison?
On the surface, the plot plays out just as any seasoned Turtle fan might expect: after being mutated by a radioactive ooze, a quartet of turtles - Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, and Michaelangelo, named after Renaissance artists - retreat into the sewers beneath Manhattan where they consume copious quantities of pizza and are trained in martial arts under the tutelege of another mutated animal, a rat named Splinter. After meeting human journalist April O'Neil (Megan Fox), the Turtles must protect April from the Foot Clan, a legion of thugs terrorizing New York, and defeat the Foot's master, the Shredder. That's the story on the surface. And while still remaining intact, director Jonathan Liebesman's version makes a few revisions. And I will admit, as a viewer with knowledge of prior source material, this isn't the most carefully-crafted origin story, but for what it's worth, it is functional enough and not too devoid of logical structure (particularly for a story as inherently absurd as this). The real focus of the film, for better or for worse, is its characters. The "for better" comes into play with the Turtles themselves. Though their computer-generated appearances (and they are expertly animated) may be visually off-putting, even unsettling at times, their personalities are still present, through and through. Each one is distinguishable from the rest, not just by the color of his mask or his weapon of choice, but by his individual quirks and mannerisms. Unfortunately, however, there's nearly no down time to allow these characteristics to sink in, as the action outweighs the development. And while the action scenes are very well-executed and exciting, particularly an avalanche sequence in the final third of the film, the result feels as though the Turtles are used less as characters, and more as flashy special effects. And that was the good. Now there's the "for worse" aspect of the cast of characters, beginning with Fox. To be fair, I acknowledge that the screenwriters were very smart to introduce O'Neil as an aspiring journalist, as this is the earliest in her career that audiences have seen the character thus far. With that said, Fox brings the right amount of energy, but barely manages to hold her own amid her own action scenes, almost being reduced to a manic damsel in distress. Fox has given far worse performances, however, so I will give credit where credit is due, and commend her for truly trying to generate fluid acting. But whereas Fox gives an honest C+ performance, A-class villain actor William Fichtner seems to walk straight out of a Saturday morning cartoon as Erik Sachs, a business tycoon whose motivation is (you guessed it!) money. But what about the sinister Shredder? Surely he'll provide us with a justified opposing force? To many viewers' dismay, the ill-concieved Foot Clan leader actually takes orders from Sachs, and at that, does so with a startling lack of personality. When the most intimidating aspect of him is his entirely over-the-top robot suit, we've encountered a problem: the Shredder costume isn't supposed to be scary, the Shredder is suppposed to be scary. This may sound like a terrible movie; for every quality present, two problems arise. But it certainly isn't the worst of the TMNT films, as there are good things present: the Turtles, while underused, are entertaining, as well as all of their surprisingly tame action scenes. In fact, for hardshelled Turtle fans, the movie is worth watching just for its heroes. But for everyone else? It definitely won't kill you, but you don't have to rush to see it anytime soon. I giveTeenage Mutant Ninja Turtles two out of four stars.
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